Each week, Northern Slant are preparing to bring you the latest run down of Britain’s most loved baking show by self-confessed GBBO addict Jayne McGlaughlin.

Week 3 was bread week and what a carb-filled joy it was. Rahul was crowned star baker for the second week in a row and the whole nation fell for him as he declared that he baked for people to make friends. Oh my heart. Antony was the third baker to leave the tent after an over baked Signature which Paul told him repeatedly was too dry.

But what else went on during bread week I hear you ask?

Well, I’ll be honest. I was quite distracted at the beginning of the show this week trying to understand more about Karen’s outfit. The lovely Karen, or as Sandi called her, the ‘best dressed’ baker, was wearing a red tshirt, black tie and red beret. I am unsure if she was trying to channel some friendly french vibes to help with her bread, but her little titled beret was all I could see. And, speaking of French vibes, Manon decided to tell to Paul that there aren’t many places in London to get bread. I’m not 100% sure why she has never heard of Greggs and Marks and Spencers, but I think it is fair to say that the stare Paul gave her was enough to remind anyone that you do not challenge the self-crowned King of Bread.

The Signature Bake this week was to make Chelsea Buns. Paul wanted perfect dough for this tear and share treat and spent the whole time prowling round the tent like a hungry lion looking for some prey to attack. And he found some, in the form of Kim Joy. She decided to use a tangzhong method (I know, I don’t have a clue either) and Paul sneered at her like she had just declared that she prefers Tesco semi-baked rolls over his luxury semi-baked ciabattas. I think I even let out a little yelp of joy when Paul and Prue said that they liked her pistachio and cardamon flavours as well as her unpronounceable technique. Cat loving Kim 1, Judgemental Paul 0.

Terry had us all on the edge of our seats as he announced that this could be his week. He may have forgotten a stage in his process but our Tezza pulled it out of the bag and both Paul and Prue liked his tangy citrus sticky offering. Hoorah! Dan wowed with his sticky spiced orange buns which had a perfect structure and interior and he received another Hollywood handshake. He is certainly becoming one to watch. Prue told Jon that his salted caramel, marshmallow topped, Cardiff City vs Chelsea Buns sounded disgusting but personally I thought they sounded delightful.

The people of Twitter went into meltdown over the Technical where the bakers were told they had to make non-yeasted garlic naan breads. According to the naan experts, naan in fact means bread so ‘naan bread’ means ‘bread bread.’ I’m not quite sure why everyone is so offended because I am always up for extra bread, but I will roll with it for now. The bread bread challenge also sent the bakers into meltdown as no-one was quite sure how to make them (dramatic pause).

The vague recipe told the bakers to ‘make the dough.’ Some of my friends tell me that I should apply for the Bake Off but I think about moments like this and I would just have to sneak off to Tesco and buy a packet of naan and hope no-one noticed. Karen in her normal calm and considered way simply declared ‘if it’s burning it’s done,’ which I now think is my new baking mantra.

The Showstopper was to make a tiered korovai. A korovai is a celebratory bread traditionally served at Eastern European weddings and the bakers were tasked with making a 3 tiered version for a celebration. Most of the bakers opted for wedding themes, although Jon decided to dedicate his to Wales with a mixed spice St David’s Day offering. And then there was Kim Joy who made an orange, cinnamon and cranberry celebratory korovai for a cat wedding. Now, you couldn’t pay me to own a cat let alone spend 5 hours baking a 3 tier korovai for a fake cat wedding, but Kim Joy was just delighted by it and that’s all that matters. Karen’s came complete with a veil and she even said “That bread’s better looking than my husband.” If that isn’t being dedicated to your craft, I don’t know what is.

Rahul once again stole the show with ode to a garden wedding and Paul told him that he was a little genius. If anyone knows how I can become best friends with Rahul, please get in touch.

The only thing that really worked for Antony was his little zip lines for his bread doves, but he ended up zip lining right out of the tent.

Week 4 is dessert week and I for one cannot wait to watch the bakers tackle chocolate work in that heat again.