Many amongst the media and its readership alike have been left dazed and confused by the recent changing tide in the words and manners of Arlene Foster of late, which has been characterised by the spirit of reconciliation and goodwill to all men, women, non-aligned persons, and small fluffy animals that live in trees. This is a quite a stark contrast with the general over-arcing resonance which has defined the DUP leader’s public image, and has often been cited by Sinn Féin as a reason for the collapse of the Executive in January 2017.

During a speech given in London on the subject of ‘Ulster Unionists and the rest of the UK’ on the 21st May, Mrs Foster stated that ‘nationalism is by its nature narrow and exclusive,’ while being a unionist was the ‘opposite’ as such is defined by ‘pluralism and multiculturalism.’ Foster went on to state that she wished to see a Northern Ireland where minorities felt welcome and included, which one can only assume was a reiteration of her fervent support for a Polish Language Act.

Foster’s newfound cosmopolitan approach continued on Saturday as she attended the Eid celebrations in South Belfast, with Emma Little-Pengelly and Máirtín Ó Muilleoir. This openness and tolerance towards different cultures has been a notable departure from the norm for a woman who had previously stated an aversion to such expressions based on the principles that ‘if you feed a crocodile it will keep coming back and looking for more.’ It does not stand as unreasonable that many were left confused by the recent change seen in Foster, and such concerns have been expressed both online and in print.

Amongst all the confusion, and hopeful optimism from some who have been heartened by Foster’s hand of friendship, enough so to lift their heads a touch over the sand bags, I offer a far more logical and reasonable reading of the latest from the former First Minister: namely, that on the night before she was due to give her speech in London, she was visited by the ghosts of unionism past, present, and future who urged her to amend her ways. Yes, I put it to you that on the night of the 20thMay, Ms. Foster received a visit from the ghosts of Edward Carson, James Craig, and a cloaked figure carrying scythe who subsequently turned out to be Ian Paisley.

Firstly, the spectre of Carson travelled with Foster back through her own timeline to the mid-1980s when she was 17, just after her school bus was bombed by the IRA. After the incident, Foster and a classmate, Madonna Murphy, were interviewed by Jeremy Paxman who asked them what the effect of such attacks meant for the local community. The two schoolgirls stated that such events highlighted the need for change in Northern Ireland, and also stated that they would make more of an effort to reach out to each other. The astral form of Mr. Carson then reiterated his words at the state opening of the Northern Irish Parliament in 1921, where he implored the new government to be conciliatory, and not treat the Catholic minority in a manner which the Protestant minority of Ireland had feared they would be treated under Home Rule. Carson then disappeared into a puff of smoke, with no trace left but the gentle flutter of the Union Flag on a nearby lamppost.

Secondly, the vision of James Craig appeared and whisked Foster off into an alternative version of Northern Ireland in which she was never born: there she found a harsh and desolate wasteland (or so it appeared to her) where a long United Ireland was governed by Gerry Adams, in a style which emulated both Éamon de Valera and Dick Dastardly from Wacky Races. Needless to say that this apparition terrified Arlene Foster to a point of distraction.

Still recoiling in fear from the sight of the Irish tricolour flying freely above Enniskillen Town Hall, and Arran sweaters upon every breast, Foster shrank further when she was a cloaked and hooded figure glide towards her; however her senses were eased when this figure loaded its hood to reveal itself as the wandering soul of her old mentor, Ian Paisley. The former First Minister of Northern Ireland greeted his successor warmly, but the jovial tone of this unionist reunion was darkened considerably by Paisley’s godly duty: he took Ms. Foster to graveside, on a dark and stormy night, with a stone inscribed with the epitaph of her own political career.

Some may imagine that these three visions took their toll on Ms. Foster and she awoke the next morning with a determination to live her life anew: throwing open her bedroom windows and shouting to a young farmhand below, telling him to take himself off to Glenncolmcille, Co. Donegal to learn Irish for a week, throwing down a handful of Ulster Banknotes for his fare.

This has surely been one of the more surreal instances of Northern Irish politics and, I would wager, Northern Slant readers will not have been so surprised since it was revealed that Paul Maskey is in fact a Pouka, called into existence by Gerry Adams’ desire to leave West Belfast for Louth in 2011, in order to ease said transition.

Speculation that Foster’s symbolic gestures have ushered in a sea-change in unionist politics has been rife, but perhaps it was also premature. It would appear that after the nocturnal fantasy described above, Ms. Foster awoke with a cold-sweat as she re-entered the reality in which she lived and became once again aware of her pledge to the Orange side of unionism to stand firm between Loyal Ulster and the gates of Sodom and Begarrah: the DUP leader has most recently turned down an invitation from the Irish government to meet Pope Francis in Dublin this weekend. UUP leader Robin Swann, and Alliance leader Naomi Long also turned down such invitations, but each sent delegates in their place, while Foster did not.